Date: 06/04/2026
Disclaimer: This article is written from personal experience and observations, shared by men in real relationship situations. It is not intended to generalize all women, all men, or all relationships. The patterns described here are specific behavioral patterns that some people exhibit, not a universal statement about gender or character. The goal of this content is to help men become more aware, not to encourage distrust or hostility in relationships. Every relationship is unique, and if you are going through difficulties, consider speaking with a qualified relationship counselor or therapist for personalized guidance.
Before I approached 3500 women I had every dating belief wrong. After 3500 approaches I had the truth. Here is what changed and why it matters for every man reading this.
I want to be upfront with you before I start.
This is not theory. This is not something I read in a book or heard from a coach online.
This is what I learned by actually doing it. Thousands of times. In real life. With real women. Getting real results and real rejections.
I approached 3500 women to get dates.
And by the time I got through that experience, almost every belief I had about dating was gone. Replaced. Completely rebuilt from scratch.
My guide has already helped 10,000+ men rebuild their dating beliefs the right way, without needing to make every mistake themselves.
👉 https://deepages.gumroad.com/l/make-her-chase-you
Here is everything I thought I knew. And what 3500 approaches taught me instead.
What I Believed Before I Started
I was like most men when I began.
I had a set of beliefs about dating that felt completely logical. Reasonable. Almost obvious.
And almost all of them were wrong.
I believed rejection meant I was not attractive enough. I believed that if a girl was texting me a lot, she was interested. I believed confidence was something certain men were born with and others were not. I believed that beautiful women only ended up with wealthy men. I believed you needed a clever, perfectly timed opening line to even start a conversation. I believed that being kind and considerate was enough to make a woman choose you. I believed the first date had to be impressive. Expensive. A statement.
I believed women wanted a sensitive man who expressed his feelings openly.
Every single one of those beliefs felt like common sense at the time.
And every single one of them was either completely wrong or badly misunderstood.
Belief 1: Rejection Means You Are Ugly
This one held me back for years.
Every time a woman said no or walked away or looked uninterested, I absorbed it as a verdict on who I was. My face. My body. My worth.
After 3500 approaches I can tell you with complete certainty, that is not what rejection is.
Rejection is almost never about how you look.
You approached her after a long shift at work and she is exhausted. You caught her in the middle of a personal crisis you know nothing about. She just ended something with someone and is nowhere near ready. She is already talking to someone. The timing was off by one week.
That is rejection. Not a judgment on your face.
Rejection means wrong timing. That is usually it.
The men who internalize rejection as permanent personal failure stop approaching. The men who understand rejection as information keep going. And the ones who keep going are the ones who eventually get everything they want.
Belief 2: Texting a Lot Means She Likes You
I used to count texts like they were points on a scoreboard.
More texts equals more interest. Long replies equal strong feelings. Fast replies equal she is thinking about me.
After 3500 approaches and everything that came after them, I know the truth.
Texting a lot means she has time and nothing better to do in that moment.
The woman who is genuinely attracted to you, who thinks about you when you are not around, who feels something when your name appears on her screen, she is not the one flooding your inbox.
She is the one you hear from less. Because she is managing herself. She does not want to seem too available. She is waiting to see if you reach out.
Texting less makes her think about you more. Every time.
When your replies come with space between them, her mind fills that space. She wonders. She waits. She pays attention.
That is where attraction lives. In the space, not the volume.
Belief 3: Confidence Is Something You Are Born With
This one is the lie men hold onto longest because it lets them off the hook.
If confidence is something you are born with, you are either lucky or you are not. Nothing to be done about it.
But after approaching women over and over, failing, adjusting, trying again, failing differently, adjusting again, I understood what confidence actually is.
Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from experience.
The first time I approached a woman I was shaking. My voice went up in pitch. I forgot what I was going to say. She walked off and I stood there replaying the whole thing for an hour.
By approach number two hundred, something had shifted. Not because I got better looking. Because I had done the thing enough times that my body stopped treating it as a threat.
Confidence is built in the field. Not in the mirror. Not in motivational content. In the actual moments of doing the thing that scares you until it stops scaring you.
Every man who seems naturally confident around women got there by accumulating experience. There is no other way.
Belief 4: Hot Girls Only Date Rich Guys
I used to watch beautiful women with average-looking, not particularly wealthy men and feel genuinely confused.
How does that happen?
After 3500 approaches, the answer became obvious.
Hot girls date whoever makes them feel something.
Not whoever has the best car. Not whoever earns the most. Whoever creates a feeling in them that they cannot easily explain or walk away from.
Feelings are not logical. They do not follow income brackets or clothing brands or gym bodies.
A man who is present, unpredictable in the right way, genuinely unbothered, and makes her laugh in a way that surprises her, that man will outperform a wealthy, good-looking, nervous man every time.
Money helps. Looks help. But neither of them creates the feeling. And the feeling is everything.
Belief 5: You Need a Perfect Opening Line
I spent embarrassing amounts of time preparing lines.
Clever ones. Funny ones. Ones designed to seem spontaneous but secretly rehearsed. I had backup lines in case the first one did not land.
You know what worked better than all of them?
“You are cute.”
Three words. No performance. No routine. Just a direct, honest observation said with calm eye contact and a straight face.
It worked better than any line I ever used because it had something no line can manufacture. It felt real.
Women have heard pickup lines since they were teenagers. They can feel a performance from twenty feet away. What they cannot always prepare for is a man who simply says what he thinks without dressing it up.
Direct honesty is rare. And rare things get attention.
Belief 6: Being Nice Is Enough
Nice does not create attraction. Nice creates comfort.
And comfort without tension is friendship.
I was nice for years. I showed up. I listened. I remembered things. I was considerate. I was available. And I watched women choose other men repeatedly while telling me what a great friend I was.
Nice is not a bad thing. But it is not a thing that moves women emotionally toward you.
What moves them is a man who has standards. Who is kind because he chooses to be, not because he is hoping it leads somewhere. Who is warm but not available for everything. Who can say no. Who has a direction he is moving in regardless of whether she comes along.
Being nice and being a man with standards are not the same thing. Learn the difference early.
Belief 7: The First Date Should Be Impressive and Expensive
I planned first dates like I was trying to win an award.
Nice restaurants. Reservations. The right neighborhood. A backup plan in case the first place was too crowded.
All of it completely unnecessary.
After enough experience I learned to keep first dates cheap and close.
Short, low-pressure, somewhere nearby. Coffee. A walk. A casual place with good energy.
Here is why it works better.
An expensive first date immediately creates pressure. She feels like she owes you something. You feel like you need to perform to justify the investment. The whole dynamic becomes unnatural.
A cheap, easy first date removes all of that. It becomes two people just talking. And in that relaxed environment, real personality comes through. Real attraction either develops or it does not.
And if it does not, you spent an hour and a coffee. Not an evening and your rent money.
Belief 8: Girls Want a Sensitive Man
Women say they want a sensitive man. And in some ways they mean it.
They want a man who can listen. Who does not dismiss their feelings. Who is not emotionally closed off.
But what they do not want is a man who needs them.
There is a difference between emotional availability and emotional dependency. Women are attracted to the first and repelled by the second.
The man they cannot stop thinking about is the one who makes them feel deeply but does not need them to feel okay himself. The one who is interested without being desperate. The one who adds to his life rather than completing it through her.
Girls want a man who does not need them. And the painful irony is that the moment you genuinely stop needing them, they start wanting to be needed by you.
Conclusion
3500 approaches changed every belief I had about dating.
Not because I became a different person. Because I stopped guessing and started knowing.
The beliefs most men carry about dating were handed to them by movies, by social media, by people who never actually tested any of it. And those beliefs keep men stuck in confusion, in friend zones, in relationships where they feel invisible.
The truth is simpler than most men think.
Get experience. Let experience build competence. Let competence build confidence. Stop texting so much. Keep first dates simple. Be direct. Stop needing her approval.
And understand that rejection is information, not a verdict.
If you want everything I know about dating compressed into one guide built from real experience, it is right below.
10,000+ men have already used it.
👉 https://deepages.gumroad.com/l/make-her-chase-you
Stay strong. I love you guys.
— Deepages
FAQs
Q1. Do I really need to approach thousands of women to figure this out?
No. That was my path. But you can shortcut it significantly by learning from people who have already done the work. The principles hold regardless of how many approaches you make. What matters is that you start taking action in the real world, even in small ways, instead of staying in your head.
Q2. Is approaching women in public disrespectful?
Approaching someone with honesty, calm energy, and genuine respect is not disrespectful. What is disrespectful is being aggressive, ignoring clear signals to stop, or treating her as an object to be won. A simple, honest approach done with dignity is something most women respond to positively even when they are not interested.
Q3. What if I genuinely cannot afford expensive first dates? Does that hurt my chances?
The opposite, actually. Cheap, relaxed first dates consistently outperform expensive ones in terms of natural connection. The pressure that comes with a fancy dinner works against you. Keep it simple and keep it real.
Q4. I have been rejected a lot and it is starting to affect me mentally. What should I do?
That is a real experience and it deserves to be taken seriously. Take a break if you need one. Rejection compounds when you absorb it personally rather than treating it as data. Reconnect with why you are doing this. And remember that rejection almost never means what you think it means in the moment.
Q5. Where can I learn more about building real confidence and dating better?
My guide covers all of this with real frameworks and experience behind every lesson.
👉 https://deepages.gumroad.com/l/make-her-chase-you
Disclaimer
This article reflects personal observations and lessons from real dating experience. It is not intended as a universal guide to all women or all dating situations. Individual experiences vary significantly based on personality, culture, and context. The goal of this content is to help men develop genuine confidence and self-awareness in dating, not to encourage manipulation or disrespectful behavior toward women. Always approach others with dignity and respect.
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